Mamazina Blog

MARMADUKE & SCOOBY-DOO…STEP ASIDE

  

     About a year ago, I rescued two pitch-black Great Dane pups. Although these gentle giants are lovable, they lack good manners.

     Each day, Lurch and Lila’s long thick tails bestow me with welcoming whacks that sting my legs like wet leather whips. 

I have to continually shuffle my feet whenever I’m around the dogs or Lila will put her humongous paw smack dab on top of my shoe pinning me into place, while her brother Lurch attacks me from behind...placing his nose in impolite places making me squeal and leap just high enough that I end up riding him like a horse.

     I dread grocery day because both of the dogs have to stick their snouts in each and every Wal-Mart bag as I’m hauling them in.

 One time I tried to outsmart the little darlings by holding the provisions way up high however, Lurch licked my armpit as Lila reared up and jerked a 12 pack of paper towels out of my firm grip and then proceeded to run like the wind. As usual, the brats double-teamed me!

     I learned the hard way that Lurch and Lila assume that everything I bring into the yard is a toy. 

The first day of spring, I placed a beautifully painted Adirondack wooden chair in the front yard. Venturing outside an hour later I found the chair turned into kindling and the screws strewn all over the driveway. Oh yeah, I was a tad upset and turned the air blue.

     Oh please, not even the cars are safe.

 Lurch or Lila chewed the black bumper pad off the back of my mini van, which I later found ‘safe’ under the blankets in their doghouse.

 And…if that is not enough, the little darlings managed to rip the large side mirror off Old Blue, my 1985 Ford truck.

Shall I mention the day I almost had a come apart when I glanced up and saw Lila looking down into the cars’ sunroof, like it was a fishbowl! (Note to self: Always close the sunroof!)

     I realized nothing was sacred the day I discovered Lurch and Lila playing tug-of-war in the front yard with one of my silky designer nightgowns. Lets be honest here…I will admit I flew out the door waving my arms and screaming like a mad woman. Oh, yes, of course they stopped. They looked at me…and then took off running…with the nightgown stretching to the breaking point.

     Now…one night last week, I was in bed watching TV, reading a book, and sucking down Rolos.  (I call that multitasking.)

I hear ‘ding-dong’. How could there be anyone at the door? I never heard barking. How could a stranger get by Lurch and Lila? What are they good for…stupid dang watchdogs! 

     Squinting, I see the shadow of a head pressed against the glass peeking in the window. As I grab my glasses off the top of the dresser, I jump at my own reflection in the mirror. Obviously, I’m spooked. I silently scoot up to the front door. My heart is pounding. I get on the tips of my toes to peer out the window as I flip ‘on’ the porch-light. Our eyes meet. I scream bloody murder. Oh, for crying aloud…it’s Lurch!

     Marmaduke and ScoobyDoo you’ve been out high-jinxed…by a couple of lovable rescue dogs.

 

Pamela Vanden Bos

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We are Women, Hear Us Roar

As a mother of two young girls I am just smitten with Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty.  If I do nothing else right as a mother, I hold out hope that I can at least teach my girls to appreciate their individual beauty both inside and out. 

Now,that being said, have you seen the latest Dove/ Wal-Mart commercial?  If you have then you also have been singing the catchy tune all day.   If you haven't you can see it here.  But it goes something like this...

Do your eyes sit wide
Does your nose turn to the side
Do your elbows kind of crinkle
Do your knees sort of wrinkle
Does your chest tend to freckle
Do you have a crooked smile
Do your eyes sit wide

While singing this song over and over yesterday, I was inspired to write some of my own verses. 

Did you shower today
Or did you skip like yesterday
Cause you got no place to go
Because you are trapped there in the snow
Did you wear your sweats again
Because you cannot find a friend

Does your face hang low

Did you spend your grocery cash on shoes
Because you woke up with the blues
And now you’re eating rice and beans
Wearing your designer jeans
Did you order stuff online
Because it shipped for just a buck ninety-nine

Does your butt hang low

Is your brown hair turning gray
In some places you can’t say
And your knees start to crack
When you are picking up the slack
Do you sound just like your mother
When you scold your naughty daughter

Do your boobs hang low

If you had to answer yes
Regarding your face, butt or breast
At least you are alive
and you can smile at my rhyme
Though some days may be gray
today can be the day
that we roar to the sky.

Let your head hang high!!!

Tara Bass  www.seriouslywhycanti.blogspot.com

DID YOU KNOW?

I only want five minutes of your time.

 

I guarantee this mind-boggling information will blow your socks off.

 

The music is heart pounding however; you will not need to have speakers to absorb the astounding information.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY

Pamela Vanden Bos, Managing Editor Mom Writer's Literary Magazine

Visit my website  http://pvbos.com

Reach Out and Touch Someone…

In 1981 AT&T ripped at our heart strings with the slogan “Reach out and touch someone”.

Think back…

You’re away at college when you see this tear jerking long distance telephone commercial on TV. Now you know, without a shadow of a doubt, how much your momma misses you. Call her!

Your sweet old Grandma doesn’t have much time left on this earth; she wants to hear your voice. Won’t you at least talk to her today?

When I hear the first few notes of this gut wrenching jingle, I instantly yearn for the yummy smells of home. My eyes well-up, I need to talk to my daddy.

Oh for crying out loud, this is one powerful commercial, my father lives next door!

Now, fast forward twenty seven years to our current lifestyle.

I'm living a dream as I walk barefoot on sugar white sands. The warm emerald waters of the Gulf of Mexico gently tickle my perfectly painted toe nails.

However, my life in paradise does not keep me from popping in on my daughter, Keelyn, for a quick virtual chat. My computer’s web cam hooks up with my daughters Mac in Seattle, which is three thousand miles away. Yet, we instantly create a video/audio connection. How virtually cool is that?

This is how the ‘Baby Boomer’ parents and generation ‘X’ children communicate in 2008.

Today my seven month old grandbaby, Trista, is flapping her arms like a bird, wiggling on her momma’s lap, happily squawking showing me glimpses of her new front teeth.

I watch Charlie, my five year old grandson, bounce into the room looking straight at me on the computer screen. (The computer grandma’s virtual visit is old-hat to him.) Charlie’s big brown eyes twinkle as he smirks and says, “Gran-maw, can I have some candy?”

Thrilled to be noticed, I quickly answer, “Yes you can.” Charlie takes off on a dead run shouting back towards me, “Gran-maw you’re da best.”

My daughter instantly spews out an irritated “Mom!”

Somehow I’m not getting that warm fuzzy feeling of …‘Reach out and touch someone’.

This virtual reality ‘thang’ just got tricky. Oops, mybad!

Pam Vanden Bos, Mom Writer’s Literary Magazine Intern

Menopause and Beyond: New Wisdom for Wisdom with Dr. Christiane Northrup

We have some great news to share! Our dear friend and colleague Dr. Christiane Northrup will launch her new cutting-edge Public Television special—Menopause and Beyond: New Wisdom for Wisdom this weekend, March 3rd. This upbeat and eye-opening show—which covers everything from heart health, hormones, and having the best sex of your life—will air throughout the month of March on PBS. Thank you in advance for your support! Together we can encourage some of these 40 million midlife women (and the 20 million more to come) to embrace the second chapter of their life and refuel their soul!

Change Your Life and Your Misconceptions about Menopause!

“I’ve been to the mountaintop and I’ve come down the other side and I can tell you that the news about menopause is really, really good! The days of ‘one-size-fits-all-medicine’ and the Father Knows Best version of ‘Here, take this pill and you’ll feel fine, ma’am’ is obsolete. It’s over. It’s not about raging hormones meant to torture you. This is a time to reinvent yourself. It’s a time to fuel your life not by what others think, but by source energy. It’s a time to mend all the unhealed parts of you. That’s why I call it the ‘wisdom’ of menopause.  And this information is equally relevant for men.” — Dr. Christiane Northrup

Do you dread getting older?

Do you worry about unbearable hot flashes, sleep deprivation, and the end of your sex life?

Are you considering hormone replacement, but you aren’t too sure of what the controversy is all about?

There are 40 million American women who are 50 or older, and 20 million more who will reach menopause within the next decade. If you’re one of these women, New York Times best-selling author and today’s leading expert on women’s health issues Dr. Christiane Northrup wants to dispel some popular misconceptions and let you in on the good news: The second half of your life is designed to provide you with more pleasure, prosperity, and fulfillment than you have ever dreamed possible!

Menopause and Beyond: New Wisdom for Women, which begins airing in March, is based on Dr. Northrup’s long-anticipated revised edition of The Wisdom of Menopause—the book that women around the world have embraced, including Oprah Winfrey, who sought Dr. Northrup’s wise words when she turned 50 and faced “The Big M.”

In Menopause and Beyond: New Wisdom for Women, you can hear Dr. Northrup’s new perspective on menopause where she’ll refute the stereotypic definition as a frenzy of hot flashes and hormonal mood swings, and instead prove that it’s an illuminating chapter in a woman’s life—one with wonderful gifts and challenges to discover. Most important, she’ll provide you with a blueprint for making sure that your menopausal years are the happiest and most vibrantly healthy years of your life.

During Dr. Northrup’s all-new public television special—Menopause and Beyond: New Wisdom for Women, you’ll learn:

● Guaranteed ways to lose weight permanently and balance your hormones with diet

● Why you should heed the messages behind your mood swings and hot flashes

● How to experience the best sex of your life after menopause

● How to achieve vibrant cardiovascular health as well as what the real indicators of cardiovascular disease are

● Why an individualized approach to HRT, including bioidentical hormones and nutritional alternatives, works best

● How to lower your risk of all cancers, including breast cancer

● To cultivate midlife beauty better than any cosmetic product or surgery ever could

● Why stress of all kinds, including emotional, physical, or nutritional, can fuel hormonal imbalances…and provide an unparalleled opportunity for growth

● How changes in the midlife brain prepare us for living with more wisdom than ever before

And more!

With impeccable scientific and medical credentials and more than 25 years of clinical experience as an ob-gyn physician, Dr. Northrup has given millions of women uplifting messages of hope, health, and healing for the female body and spirit. Now Dr. Northrup can change your life and your misconceptions about menopause. See her in this groundbreaking new public television special—Menopause and Beyond: New Wisdom for Women!

It’s time to update your thinking and embrace menopause as an exciting time when you can change your life for the better. Dr. Northrup explains how.

See Menopause and Beyond: New Wisdom for Women when it airs throughout the month of March! Check your local public television station for airtimes and dates. For more details, visit Dr. Northrup’s new Website: www.drnorthrup.com