Relentlessly Live for Others by Maureen Locher

I sat down to blog a few minutes ago and, as is customary, I read the previous blog. And now that blog is all I can think about. All other thoughts are gone. If you haven’t yet read “Greatness Is about Others” by Dionna Sanchez please do and then come back.

Are you back? What’d you think? Did it strike you as it struck me? Right now as I write it is a most beautiful day in my part of the world. My family shall host our last (yay!) high school graduation party in one short month and there is an endless list of work to do before the grand day arrives. But where are my five men right now? Two are sleep, one is playing the dreaded video game with “bullets” whizzing through the living room, one is at his girlfriend’s house and one is at his job.

This morning we all awoke and most attended church which is also customary around here every Sunday morning. One rebelled and stayed home. Didn’t make mom too happy but this mom has learned to pick her battles. The rest of us go to church, come home and I begin lunch while all others relax. (Relaxing would have been nice.) I head to the kitchen to fry the burgers and attempt to throw some side dishes on the table. Lunch is ready. We eat.

And the meanness begins. It all started with one utterance from one mouth and it went from there. Why did the offender do it? The words could not be mistaken for other words; the meaning was clear and the meaning was mean. Why? Because he was living for himself, not for others.

Fuel was added to the fire and before you knew it, in a matter of seconds, we had World War III on our hands. Yelling and more snide comments in retaliation. I banished offender from table who took his own sweet time in leaving, but he left. I followed him and laid into him. Behind me I hear the yelling escalating even though the offender is removed.

This chain of reaction makes me want to throttle said offender, but I do not. I try to look at it from his point of view. He is wrong but “how” wrong is what I need to figure out. I gather data. I try to talk to his brother. But brother sees this as my taking offender’s side and brother walks out of the house. I hate this!

What is so darn hard about living for others? Where does this selfishness come from? I’ve lived for others since the day my first child was born. I suspect most of you readers have too. Why can’t these boys of mine take this example and follow it? When my boys were little we appreciated each other. We spent all our days together until the first went off to school. I’ve often said it was downhill from there. Suddenly all these other influences capture your children. Materialism rears its ugly head, children are given huge trophies for completing any and every sport, parents begin the endless cycle of transporting little ones all over the planet – and family diminishes. “Getting” is emphasized while “giving” is forgotten.

I want to know how to get it back, this feeling of “family first,” which is simply another way of saying “others first.” Why do they all seem to love it when mom puts them first but they cannot return the favor? I had enough and got into my car. Probably not the best example but sometimes when facing brick walls the only prudent action is retreat.

Oh, how I wanted to drive to my parents’ house. But what would that have accomplished? It just would have put me behind tomorrow around here. I reluctantly drove home – to the sleeping giants. Nothing will be accomplished around here today unless I do it. Two pairs of hands are not at all as good as twelve, but they are better than none. So I washed dishes. I did for my others. I will work around here. I will make dinner later, feeding those others. Sometimes I feel as if I am the only one who sees what I do but I know that’s not true. There’s Someone always with me, always with you, and with His strength maybe we moms can fight the good fight, as my dad loves to say, and make our own parts of the world a little more pleasing by relentlessly living for others no matter the obstacles. I will keep trying if you will!Happy Sunday, Moms!

Maureen Locher

MWLM’s copy editor & Just Another Manic Momday columnist

Read more at http://maureenlocher.blogspot.com/.

Comments

[Dionna]

Maureen -
It touched me that my post impacted you so much.
Trust me - I deal with the same struggles as a mom that you deal with. I think we just need to trudge daily and persevere to teach our children the qualities and character we want to instill in them. We model it for them, we praise them when they exercise those muscles, and we pray for them. The rest will be of their own free will and choice.