MWLM Blog

The "S" word - is there an alternative?

I got yelled at the other day by my friend's four-year-old son.

"You said the "S" word!" he scolded me.

And of course, the first thing that runs through my mind is, "Oh shit.  Did I just say 'shit'?"

But I didn't.  I said "stupid." 

I realize that people set different limits for their children on what is acceptable and what is not acceptable, but I really don't like being tsk-tsked by a preschooler.  I personally think it's actually pretty stupid to limit your children to a fantasy-world language, where there are no such things as negative words.  I might even say it's dumb.  Or even a little crappy.

But in trying to be the best parent I can be (or rather, to stop being yelled at for my sailor mouth), I reach out to my mom writer friends, the ones who should be creative to offer up a decent answer to my question: what is a good alternative to the word "stupid?"

Like when my daughter puts on her unzipped bookbag on upside down so that her entire school folder falls out onto the slush-covered driveway?

Or when my son whacks himself in his weenie and says, "this is a knuckle sandwich."  How can I relay to him that it's rather stupid to punch your own genitals without saying just that?

I open the floor to all and any that wish to spread some words of wisdom. 

Just make sure that it's credible advice-- I don't want any stupid shit.

-Karrie McAllister, who really doesn't cuss all that much.  Honestly.
www.KarrieMcAllister.com   

Cheesecake Results~Delicious Success!

This morning I got up earlier than usual, tiptoed out to the fridge, and crossed my fingers and toes.

All over a cheesecake.

Would it be yummy? Would it be runny? Did I have enough kitchen mojo to execute a successful cheesecake - noting that baking is an exact science - from a simple idea and meager professional culinary experience?

One way to find out.

I took an offset spatula and ran it around the edges of the cheesecake while it was still in the springfrom pan.  I unlocked and pulled up the ring...and there it was, no crack in the top, no breaks in the edges.  It looked good.  Time for the taste.

I cut a piece, plated it, and took a bite.

IT WAS TASTY IT HAD GOOD CONSISTENCY AND TEXTURE IT WORKED!!!

It was a little like the feeling of writing something really good.

Here are some things I will adjust for next time, though;

The mint leaves took some heavy cream with them when discarded.  I had to add a little extra heavy cream to get that 3/4 cup I needed. So, I'll add a little extra cream when "steeping" the mint the night before.

I'll use 2 tsp. instead of 1 1/2 tbsp. vanilla.

I am thinking of using some mint extract to up the minty-ness, we'll see.

Am I so strange that cheesecake can bring me so much joy? That handing over slices of something I worked on to my loved ones sustains me?

Probably...but that's okay. Life is delicious.

~ Samantha Gianulis

Girl Scout Cookie Cheesecake, Dark Chocolate and Hint of Mint

For years I have been ordering Thin Mints because, as I have said so domesticatedly to other mothers, "What a fabulous cheesecake crust they would make!".

However, the Thin Mints made it into our bellies before they made it into the Cuisinart to be reduced to crumb-like consistency.

This year will be different!  I, Samantha Gianulis, will not hide Girl Scout cookies from myself, thereby driving me further into desiring them. Nor will I allow my children to eat all of said cookies in one I-just-got-home-from-school-feed-me session.

Girl Scout cookies have a higher prupose this year.  Here is where the Thin Mints are destined today, starting with Cuiniart, into a springform pan, then a Bain Marie, and finally, gracing the kitchen counter...for probably as long as a box of cookies would typically last.

Here is my recipe as I plan to make it, drawn from cookbooks, websites, imagination and some experience. Or, what I call, mommy ingenuity. Log back on tomorrow, and I will let you know the results of this cheesecake fantasy.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIE CHEESECAKE, DARK CHOCOLATE AND HINT OF MINT

For the crust:
2 cups Thin Mint cookie crumbs
2 tbsp. dark brown sugar
6 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

For the chocolate ganache:
1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips, or 4 oz. of a dark chocolate bar broken into pieces
1 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted
Handful of organic mint leaves
3/4 cup heavy cream

For the cheesecake:
(4) 8 oz. pkgs. cream cheese at room temperature
1 1/4 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
1 1/2 tbsp. vanilla extract

Night before: Pour heavy cream into a bowl and add cleaned, washed and dried mint leaves.
Refrigerate.
Strain cream next morning.
Set cream aside until ready to use in ganache.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

In a food processor, pulse Thin Mints until you get a yield of 2 cups worth of cookie crumbs.
(I plan on crumbing an entire box, I can always buy more boxes outside the grocery store or from one of the many Girl Scouts I know. Any remaining crumbs go straight into the freezer, you know, waste not...)
Mix together brown sugar and melted butter with cookie crumbs.
Press into the bottom of springform pan for the crust, put into the fridge.

Make the ganache: In a pan, heat strained/minted heavy cream over medium heat.
Add butter, when butter is melted, add chocolate chips or chocolate bar pieces.
When chocolate is melted, set ganache aside.

Next, beat the softened cream cheese with a mixer or in a standing mixer until smooth, low or medium-low speed.
Add granulated sugar.
When sugar is incorporated into cream cheese, add eggs, one at a time, make sure each egg is well mixed in before adding the next!
Add vanilla.
Finally, add chocolate ganache and when chocolate is all mixed in, pour into springform pan.
Wrap bottom of springform pan with heavy duty aluminum foil, so no water seeps in from the Bain Marie (hot water bath).

Boil about four cups of water in teapot. While water is coming to boil, place cheesecake in fridge.

When you have boiling water, remove cheesecake from fridge and place into a large, empty roasting pan.
Pour enough boiling water around the springform pan so that it comes just about two inches up the side of the springfrom pan.
Place in pre-heated oven and bake for approximately one hour, or until center of cheesecake is firm.
Refrigerate 4 hours or overnight.

With some willpower and a little luck, this will be everything I've been imagining it to be for years. Don't forget to come back tomorrow and see how it turned out....

~ Samantha Gianulis, chief optimist of her own test kitchen

One In Four, Four In A Year

It is nearly impossible for me not to read something-whether it be book, magazine, browsing the internet, poetry, whatever. So it saddens me (though rarely surprises me) when studies surface telling us America doesn't read so much.

I came across an article on CNN back in August of 07 titled "Where You Fall In Poll of U.S. Reading Habits". When I first read it, I thought, not too surprising. But thought later...no wonder illiteracy (and just plain disinterest) is so high in this country when we got Britney Spears, Branjelina, reality T.V. shows (have you ever seen Beauty and the Geek? Jesus!) spreading like bacteria in the brain.

One in four adults say they read no books at all in the past year, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll released Tuesday. Of those who did read, women and seniors were most avid, and religious works and popular fiction were the top choices.

The survey reveals a nation whose book readers, on the whole, can hardly be called ravenous. The typical person claimed to have read four books in the last year -- half read more and half read fewer. Excluding those who hadn't read any, the usual number read was seven.

"I just get sleepy when I read," said Richard Bustos of Dallas, Texas, a habit with which millions of Americans can doubtless identify. Bustos, a 34-year-old project manager for a telecommunications company, said he had not read any books in the last year and would rather spend time in his backyard pool.

Hey, I know fiction has been on the downside for a bit, in a bit of a slump, but reading only four books in a year? That seems incomprehensible to me. For those of you who have stopped by my blog you know this. There are books everywhere-four a week, even.

 

"Fiction just doesn't interest me," said Bob Ryan, 41, who works for a construction company in Guntersville, Alabama. "If I'm going to get a story, I'll get a movie."

The NEA released a study last year, "To Read or Not To Read". What they found was 'Americans are reading less, Americans are reading less well, and that the decline in reading has serious civic, social and economic implications'. Programs are sprouting up such as The Big Read (NEA) in an effort to get people to pick up a book and 'restore reading to the center of American culture'. I want to be optimistic and say, Yes! This will work!  Then I think, as long as we have people saying "I get sleepy when I read" and other such things, we're not going to get very far.

Kris Underwood, Writer's Resource Editor

Mini Soccer – Not for the Weak-Kneed

It’s soccer season! Have I said that before? Sorry for the repeat. But we just can’t get enough of the sport, so we play it indoors, too. Here’s a fun idea for parents who need something different.

My son and daughter developed a way to play soccer in our game room. But we can’t kick the ball in the house. So, we remove the ping pong table from the rectangular room to give us optimum space. Then, we place two bean bags in one corner, six feet across from each other; this formers one large triangular soccer goal. We repeat with another goal caddy corner to the first one.

The teams swap, usually two on two: kids versus parents, girls vs. guys, mom and son vs. dad and daughter, etc. We’ve tried it with me alone. Mom versus kids…I’ve won once, but that’s a hard feat to repeat. The sport works the knees, legs, and all muscles involved in crawling.

The only way to play this version of soccer is on all fours, using our palms as our feet. The ball is not a genuine soccer ball, but an ancient Chuck E. Cheese ball that's squishy-soft and painless, except when it smacks someone in the nose. It’s a rough and tumble sport that often ends up with the kids wrestling. My daughter is amazingly strong, and puts her older brother to shame at times; but, then, my son sometimes puts his dad to shame too. I avoid wrestling, but I find it funny to watch. If someone commits a foul, we do a dropped ball in the center of the room and continue the game. We usually play until we can't move.

It’s a sweaty, silly soccer game that ends up on giggle fits if we play it late at night, which makes for a good stress reliever before going to sleep.

~Sue Donckels, Managing Editor for Mom Writer’s Literary Magazine and one of thousands of soccer moms, cheering on the sidelines.

No more moving around

After almost two years of working from home as a technical writer, I finally smartened up this weekend and set up a permanent work station for myself.  I had been setting up my laptop at the kitchen table everyday and packing everything up when it was time to serve meals.  So every morning, I had to set up my computer on the table, plug it in, set up all my papers, etc. before I could actually get down to work.

I had worked for a while down in our basement office, but found that it wasn't very practical to be all the way downstairs all day.  I couldn't hear the doorbell if it rang, and I couldn't steal quick glances at my emails while preparing meals.  Plus, being down in the basement all day, with nothing but a small 18" X 30" window to give me sunlight, made it feel like I was living in a dungeon. So I decided to work upstairs, and the only place that I could set myself up was the kitchen table.

A couple of weeks ago, we got a hand-me-down computer desk from my brother and set up one of the kids' computers on that, down in the dungeon office - um... I mean basement office.  This freed up the little desk that we had temporarily been using for the kids' computer.  This weekend, I decided that to move that little desk up into a corner of my living room and set up a permanent workstation.  I got it all set up on Saturday.  Everything was working fine.  The wireless signal was good, and I had room for all my stuff.

This morning, when I turned on my computer, the wireless connection couldn't be established.  I tried to figure out why, but I just couldn't get a signal.  I grabbed my labtop and roamed around the house, trying to find where the signal was best.  I found a corner in my dining room (which is actually a room with an old table that the kids do their homework in since we can't afford a nice dining room set), so I set up the desk in that corner.  The wireless signal is strong, I am facing a large window that gives out onto my backyard.  This is great!  No more packing up and moving at the end of each work day.  My computer is here to stay - until we can afford to actually use this room as a dining room, but by then, the kids will probably have moved out of the house, and I can use one of their bedrooms as an office.

Lucie Bouchard Antoniazzi, Regular Columnist, All in a Mom-day's Work, www.luciebouchardantoniazzi.com

You may lose your socks

The audience was told Wednesday night at the first grade concert, because the music teacher tells the students to blow their socks off with an awesome perfomance.  And that is exactly what my little first grader did with her solo performance.

Not just any solo - the opening solo piece.  Afterwards, as she watched our video she commented, Mommy why didn't you turn it on sooner?  Mom missed her first word, but I didn't know she was opening the concert.  On Thursday the first graders did an encore performance for the school.  Then the music teacher told the students that the two girls singing solos were future American Idols.

Thursday afternoon my little girl came home with her first fan letter.  A little girl drew her a picture and wrote, great singing.  You're going to be on American Idol.

Is this my Little One?  The girl who screams whenever mom tells her to do something.  And won't sit still for anything.  Yes, my socks were blown off alright.

If you read my mindsay blog: http://hosking.mindsay.com you've seen my video.  Well here is the video my Aunt took Wednesday night.

Solo Close-up

Veronica Hosking

Poetry Editor

Microcosm of Life by Maureen Locher

Observations while waiting in a doctor’s office:

“Say cheese, please,” the 4-year-old asks her older sister while snapping her “picture” focusing a pretend cell phone. How cute, we think.

Older man enters in seemingly fine health. Well-taken-care-of specimen. What’s wrong with him? we wonder.

Mama sips from her sick child’s juicebox. How long till Mom gets sick? we wager.

Ordinary folk stroll by in their “waiting for a flood” pants and mussed hair. Do I look like that? we fear.

Sales rep dressed to the nines appears – boots, professional pants just the right length, sleek coat, clean bouncy hair, perky personality. We wish!

Mom, carrying sleeping infant, with 3-year-old son in tow. Mom asks son if he’d like to read a book. The sweetness and innocence of this little one’s voice should be recorded for all of time, we think, for it’s been a very long time since we’ve heard such a sound.

What waiting room would be complete without the loud, obnoxious boy playing the proverbial video game? Smash it to smithereens and read to him, we plead.

Our hearts are drawn back again and again. Eyes long to stare but steal only brief glances. Married? Possibly – ring on finger. But still we’re not quite sure. Why? Because on the downside of 60 they act like love-struck teenagers. Heads touching, hands holding, conversations whispered. Matching black leather jackets, worn yet beaming faces, bleached blond hair woman, Grecian Formula man exuding buckets of real true love. What is their story? Why can we not turn away?

Maureen Locher

Copy editor MWLM

Maureen enjoys being out of waiting rooms much more than being in them. Check out more of her thoughts at http://maureenlocher.blogspot.com/ ~ To Give God.

Help! My baby's hot!

I consider this both entertaining and disturbing.  But mostly it's just plain hilarious, which is why I had to share it with all of you.

My daughter Ellen, age six, came home from kindergarten yesterday with a Valentine's Day project they did in school.  Each child got to choose someone in their class to be his or her valentine.  They then had their photo taken with their valentine and as a writing exercise, had to write four reasons why they chose that person to be their valentine.  The chosen "valentine"  got to bring home the paper that was done about them.

My daughter and her girlfriend picked each other.  They wrote nerdy things like "is nice to me," "likes to read," and other such appropriate stuff.  Quite typical.  And my daughter was really anxious to bring home that paper and show me.

But stuffed in the back of her folder was another one which she was reluctant to bring out. 

"THROW IT AWAY!!!!!!!" she screamed.

After begging to see it, I see that a little boy in her class chose her to be his valentine.  Why?  According to his four reasons, she:
1.  plaz with me
2. rns fast
3. kyux (???)
and is...
4.  HOT.

My daughter is HOT. This is not supposed to happen in kindergarten! 

When I wasn't looking, Ellen threw the piece of paper that announced her "hotness" in the trash.

But when she wasn't looking, I pulled it out, brushed off the coffee grounds, and filed it away.  If she doesn't like it now, she'll certainly not like it when I pull it out at her highschool graduation party...

Such a mother am I.

-Karrie McAllister

Mom Writer’s Dream Retreat!

Have you ever thought about traveling away from the kids, house, jobs, chores, and even the hubby for a week? Marcie Miller, the Write in Ireland Facilitator, is looking for writers!

Write in Ireland seeks fiction writers of all skill levels and genres to participate in a unique one-week writers retreat. The session goes from May 3^rd through the 10^th and it features a workshop by noted Irish author, Niall Williams, gourmet meals, and lodging in a gorgeous remote mountain retreat in scenic County Kerry.

For more information, stop by Write in Ireland.

If you’re interested, don’t wait!

~Sue Donckels, Managing Editor for Mom Writer’s Literary Magazine, dreaming of a trip to Ireland. InkBridge Blog.