Over the last few months, I developed a heightened awareness
for complainers. Although I hadn’t intended it, I also ended up complaining often,
as if struck by a magnet for the same habit. Of course, complaining about
things, people, and events over which we have little to no control, spawns
nothing but negativity. The excuses for it matter little; but the discovery nudged
me to look in a new direction, and that’s what counts.
My discovery opened a new door, just as I closed one on
something that had become a long-term, daily process. I can’t specify it, since
that would publicize it in the wrong way. Basically, my long-term routine ended
in an unexpected way, on a negative note. That’s not how I intended it, but
sometimes things don’t go as we plan.
Due to good timing and a supportive family, I was able to
turn my attitude around. No matter how negative things and events may seem, we
don’t need to focus on those aspects. Even my daughter--in all her glorious
preteen years’ wisdom--reminded me with a drawing she taped on her door: a
glass, half full. I don’t want to focus on the other half. I don’t even want or
need to think about that other half.
With the glass in mind, I started my own version of a
gratitude journal, hoping to weave a new mindset into my daily life. Of course,
I could write about my gratefulness in my regular journal, but I separated them
for one big reason. In my original one, I often write my way through painful
moments, losses, or confusing situations. The words on paper help me untangle life’s
knots until I feel satisfied.
The gratitude journal, on the other hand, contains only my
positive thoughts and reflections about people, events, and memories. In doing
this, I’ve given birth to something new that I’ll continue through the whole
year. For 2008, I’ll weave the journal into something bigger--a gratitude time
capsule for my kids to find one day. I can’t give the time capsule a specific
date to be opened, since I’ll leave it open ended for the day I die, or when I'm very old. No, I’m
not pulling this out of a movie, and I’m not intending to be melodramatic. This
stems from my elderly parents, who talk about dying on a regular basis. Hopefully,
it won’t happen for a long time for them or me, but as I reflected upon the
inevitable, I asked myself one question: what do I want to leave behind for my
kids when I’m gone?
Beyond the obvious will and typical sentimental items, I want
my family to find my journal of gratitude. Inside its pages, I write about more
than what I’m thankful for; I document everyone’s greatest qualities, what I
love most about each of them. That’s something worthy of being left behind.
I should add one more vital part here. This doesn’t mean
that I’ll make them wait until I die or double my age to let them know how much I appreciate
them. I’ve begun leaving little “gratitude notes” in my kids’ paper-crafted
mailboxes they’ve taped on their bedroom doors. For my son, I wrote one today
that reads, “I love how you’re becoming a mature family diplomat who easily keeps the peace between the four of us. Thanks!” For my daughter,
I wrote, “Thanks so much for always constructing creative ways for the four of
us to hang out together, play together, and enjoy each other’s company. I love
it!”
My notes don’t get dropped in their mailboxes every single
day, but I try to leave them every now and then to let them know they’re
appreciated.
What about you? Have you thought about what you want to
leave behind as a sign of your life and the greatest parts of it, even if only one
year at a time? At first, it might sound morose, but it’s worth thinking about,
for as many reasons as you have loved ones.
~Sue Donckels, Managing Editor for Mom Writers Literary Magazine, wishes you a Grateful & Great 2008.
Happy New Year …
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